HAMLET 3.4

The Queen's closet.

[Enter QUEEN MARGARET and POLONIUS]

LORD POLONIUS He will come straight. Look you lay home to him:

Tell him his pranks have been too broad to bear with,

And that your grace hath screen'd and stood between

Much heat and him. I'll sconce me even here.

Pray you, be round with him. 5

HAMLET [Within] Mother, mother, mother!

QUEEN GERTRUDE I'll warrant you,

Fear me not: withdraw, I hear him coming.

[POLONIUS hides behind the arras]

[Enter HAMLET]

HAMLET Now, mother, what's the matter?

QUEEN GERTRUDE Hamlet, thou hast thy father much offended. 10

HAMLET Mother, you have my father much offended.

QUEEN GERTRUDE Come, come, you answer with an idle tongue.

HAMLET Go, go, you question with a wicked tongue.

QUEEN GERTRUDE Why, how now, Hamlet!

HAMLET What's the matter now? 15

QUEEN GERTRUDE Have you forgot me?

HAMLET No, by the rood, not so:

You are the queen, your husband's brother's wife;

And--would it were not so!--you are my mother.

QUEEN GERTRUDE Nay, then, I'll set those to you that can speak. 20

HAMLET Come, come, and sit you down; you shall not budge;

You go not till I set you up a glass

Where you may see the inmost part of you.

QUEEN GERTRUDE What wilt thou do? thou wilt not murder me?

Help, help, ho! 25

LORD POLONIUS [Behind] What, ho! help, help, help!

HAMLET [Drawing] How now! a rat? Dead, for a ducat, dead!

[Makes a pass through the arras]

LORD POLONIUS [Behind] O, I am slain!

[Falls and dies]

QUEEN GERTRUDE O me, what hast thou done?

HAMLET Nay, I know not: 30

Is it the king?

QUEEN GERTRUDE O, what a rash and bloody deed is this!

HAMLET A bloody deed! almost as bad, good mother,

As kill a king, and marry with his brother.

QUEEN GERTRUDE As kill a king! 35

HAMLET Ay, lady, 'twas my word.

[Lifts up the array and discovers POLONIUS]

Thou wretched, rash, intruding fool, farewell!

I took thee for thy better: take thy fortune;

Thou find'st to be too busy is some danger.

Leave wringing of your hands: peace! sit you down,

And let me wring your heart; for so I shall, 40

If it be made of penetrable stuff,

If damned custom have not brass'd it so

That it is proof and bulwark against sense.

QUEEN GERTRUDE What have I done, that thou darest wag thy tongue

In noise so rude against me? 45

HAMLET Such an act

That blurs the grace and blush of modesty,

Calls virtue hypocrite, takes off the rose

From the fair forehead of an innocent love

And sets a blister there, makes marriage-vows 50

As false as dicers' oaths: O, such a deed

As from the body of contraction plucks

The very soul, and sweet religion makes

A rhapsody of words: heaven's face doth glow:

Yea, this solidity and compound mass, 55

With tristful visage, as against the doom,

Is thought-sick at the act.

QUEEN GERTRUDE Ay me, what act,

That roars so loud, and thunders in the index?

HAMLET Look here, upon this picture, and on this, 60

The counterfeit presentment of two brothers.

See, what a grace was seated on this brow;

Hyperion's curls; the front of Jove himself;

An eye like Mars, to threaten and command;

A station like the herald Mercury 65

New-lighted on a heaven-kissing hill;

A combination and a form indeed,

Where every god did seem to set his seal,

To give the world assurance of a man:

This was your husband. Look you now, what follows: 70

Here is your husband; like a mildew'd ear,

Blasting his wholesome brother. Have you eyes?

Could you on this fair mountain leave to feed,

And batten on this moor? Ha! have you eyes?

You cannot call it love; for at your age 75

The hey-day in the blood is tame, it's humble,

And waits upon the judgment: and what judgment

Would step from this to this? Sense, sure, you have,

Else could you not have motion; but sure, that sense

Is apoplex'd; for madness would not err, 80

Nor sense to ecstasy was ne'er so thrall'd

But it reserved some quantity of choice,

To serve in such a difference. What devil was't

That thus hath cozen'd you at hoodman-blind?

Eyes without feeling, feeling without sight, 85

Ears without hands or eyes, smelling sans all,

Or but a sickly part of one true sense

Could not so mope.

O shame! where is thy blush? Rebellious hell,

If thou canst mutine in a matron's bones, 90

To flaming youth let virtue be as wax,

And melt in her own fire: proclaim no shame

When the compulsive ardour gives the charge,

Since frost itself as actively doth burn

And reason panders will. 95

QUEEN GERTRUDE O Hamlet, speak no more:

Thou turn'st mine eyes into my very soul;

And there I see such black and grained spots

As will not leave their tinct.

HAMLET Nay, but to live 100

In the rank sweat of an enseamed bed,

Stew'd in corruption, honeying and making love

Over the nasty sty,--

QUEEN GERTRUDE O, speak to me no more;

These words, like daggers, enter in mine ears; 105

No more, sweet Hamlet!

HAMLET A murderer and a villain;

A slave that is not twentieth part the tithe

Of your precedent lord; a vice of kings;

A cutpurse of the empire and the rule, 110

That from a shelf the precious diadem stole,

And put it in his pocket!

QUEEN GERTRUDE No more!

HAMLET A king of shreds and patches,--

[Enter Ghost]

Save me, and hover o'er me with your wings, 115

You heavenly guards! What would your gracious figure?

QUEEN GERTRUDE Alas, he's mad!

HAMLET Do you not come your tardy son to chide,

That, lapsed in time and passion, lets go by

The important acting of your dread command? O, say! 120

Ghost Do not forget: this visitation

Is but to whet thy almost blunted purpose.

But, look, amazement on thy mother sits:

O, step between her and her fighting soul:

Conceit in weakest bodies strongest works: 125

Speak to her, Hamlet.

HAMLET How is it with you, lady?

QUEEN GERTRUDE Alas, how is't with you,

That you do bend your eye on vacancy

And with the incorporal air do hold discourse? 130

Forth at your eyes your spirits wildly peep;

And, as the sleeping soldiers in the alarm,

Your bedded hair, like life in excrements,

Starts up, and stands on end. O gentle son,

Upon the heat and flame of thy distemper 135

Sprinkle cool patience. Whereon do you look?

HAMLET On him, on him! Look you, how pale he glares!

His form and cause conjoin'd, preaching to stones,

Would make them capable. Do not look upon me;

Lest with this piteous action you convert 140

My stern effects: then what I have to do

Will want true colour; tears perchance for blood.

QUEEN GERTRUDE To whom do you speak this?

HAMLET Do you see nothing there?

QUEEN GERTRUDE Nothing at all; yet all that is I see. 145

HAMLET Nor did you nothing hear?

QUEEN GERTRUDE No, nothing but ourselves.

HAMLET Why, look you there! look, how it steals away!

My father, in his habit as he lived!

Look, where he goes, even now, out at the portal! 150

[Exit Ghost]

QUEEN GERTRUDE This the very coinage of your brain:

This bodiless creation ecstasy

Is very cunning in.

HAMLET Ecstasy!

My pulse, as yours, doth temperately keep time, 155

And makes as healthful music: it is not madness

That I have utter'd: bring me to the test,

And I the matter will re-word; which madness

Would gambol from. Mother, for love of grace,

Lay not that mattering unction to your soul, 160

That not your trespass, but my madness speaks:

It will but skin and film the ulcerous place,

Whilst rank corruption, mining all within,

Infects unseen. Confess yourself to heaven;

Repent what's past; avoid what is to come; 165

And do not spread the compost on the weeds,

To make them ranker. Forgive me this my virtue;

For in the fatness of these pursy times

Virtue itself of vice must pardon beg,

Yea, curb and woo for leave to do him good. 170

QUEEN GERTRUDE O Hamlet, thou hast cleft my heart in twain.

HAMLET O, throw away the worser part of it,

And live the purer with the other half.

Good night: but go not to mine uncle's bed;

Assume a virtue, if you have it not. 175

That monster, custom, who all sense doth eat,

Of habits devil, is angel yet in this,

That to the use of actions fair and good

He likewise gives a frock or livery,

That aptly is put on. Refrain to-night, 180

And that shall lend a kind of easiness

To the next abstinence: the next more easy;

For use almost can change the stamp of nature,

And either [ ] the devil, or throw him out

With wondrous potency. Once more, good night: 185

And when you are desirous to be bless'd,

I'll blessing beg of you. For this same lord,

[Pointing to POLONIUS]

I do repent: but heaven hath pleased it so,

To punish me with this and this with me,

That I must be their scourge and minister. 190

I will bestow him, and will answer well

The death I gave him. So, again, good night.

I must be cruel, only to be kind:

Thus bad begins and worse remains behind.

One word more, good lady. 195

QUEEN GERTRUDE What shall I do?

HAMLET Not this, by no means, that I bid you do:

Let the bloat king tempt you again to bed;

Pinch wanton on your cheek; call you his mouse;

And let him, for a pair of reechy kisses, 200

Or paddling in your neck with his damn'd fingers,

Make you to ravel all this matter out,

That I essentially am not in madness,

But mad in craft. 'Twere good you let him know;

For who, that's but a queen, fair, sober, wise, 205

Would from a paddock, from a bat, a gib,

Such dear concernings hide? who would do so?

No, in despite of sense and secrecy,

Unpeg the basket on the house's top.

Let the birds fly, and, like the famous ape, 210

To try conclusions, in the basket creep,

And break your own neck down.

QUEEN GERTRUDE Be thou assured, if words be made of breath,

And breath of life, I have no life to breathe

What thou hast said to me. 215

HAMLET I must to England; you know that?

QUEEN GERTRUDE Alack,

I had forgot: 'tis so concluded on.

HAMLET There's letters seal'd: and my two schoolfellows,

Whom I will trust as I will adders fang'd, 220

They bear the mandate; they must sweep my way,

And marshal me to knavery. Let it work;

For 'tis the sport to have the engineer

Hoist with his own petard: and 't shall go hard

But I will delve one yard below their mines, 225

And blow them at the moon: O, 'tis most sweet,

When in one line two crafts directly meet.

This man shall set me packing:

I'll lug the guts into the neighbour room.

Mother, good night. Indeed this counsellor 230

Is now most still, most secret and most grave,

Who was in life a foolish prating knave.

Come, sir, to draw toward an end with you.

Good night, mother.

[Exeunt severally; HAMLET dragging in POLONIUS]

LORD POLONIUS	He will come straight. Look you lay home to him:
	Tell him his pranks have been too broad to bear with,
	And that your grace hath screen'd and stood between
	Much heat and him. I'll sconce me even here.
	Pray you, be round with him.	5

QUEEN GERTRUDE		I'll warrant you,
		Fear me not: withdraw, I hear him coming.
		[POLONIUS hides behind the arras]
		[Enter HAMLET]

HAMLET		No, by the rood, not so:
		You are the queen, your husband's brother's wife;
		And--would it were not so!--you are my mother.

HAMLET		Come, come, and sit you down; you shall not budge;
		You go not till I set you up a glass
		Where you may see the inmost part of you.

QUEEN GERTRUDE		What wilt thou do? thou wilt not murder me?
		Help, help, ho!	25

HAMLET		[Drawing] How now! a rat? Dead, for a ducat, dead!
		[Makes a pass through the arras]

HAMLET		A bloody deed! almost as bad, good mother,
		As kill a king, and marry with his brother.

HAMLET	Ay, lady, 'twas my word.
	[Lifts up the array and discovers POLONIUS]
	Thou wretched, rash, intruding fool, farewell!
	I took thee for thy better: take thy fortune;
	Thou find'st to be too busy is some danger.
	Leave wringing of your hands: peace! sit you down,
	And let me wring your heart; for so I shall,	40
	If it be made of penetrable stuff,
	If damned custom have not brass'd it so
	That it is proof and bulwark against sense.

QUEEN GERTRUDE		What have I done, that thou darest wag thy tongue
		In noise so rude against me?	45

HAMLET	Such an act
	That blurs the grace and blush of modesty,
	Calls virtue hypocrite, takes off the rose
	From the fair forehead of an innocent love
	And sets a blister there, makes marriage-vows	50
	As false as dicers' oaths: O, such a deed
	As from the body of contraction plucks
	The very soul, and sweet religion makes
	A rhapsody of words: heaven's face doth glow:
	Yea, this solidity and compound mass,	55
	With tristful visage, as against the doom,
	Is thought-sick at the act.

QUEEN GERTRUDE		Ay me, what act,
		That roars so loud, and thunders in the index?

HAMLET	Look here, upon this picture, and on this,	60
	The counterfeit presentment of two brothers.
	See, what a grace was seated on this brow;
	Hyperion's curls; the front of Jove himself;
	An eye like Mars, to threaten and command;
	A station like the herald Mercury	65
	New-lighted on a heaven-kissing hill;
	A combination and a form indeed,
	Where every god did seem to set his seal,
	To give the world assurance of a man:
	This was your husband. Look you now, what follows:	70
	Here is your husband; like a mildew'd ear,
	Blasting his wholesome brother. Have you eyes?
	Could you on this fair mountain leave to feed,
	And batten on this moor? Ha! have you eyes?
	You cannot call it love; for at your age	75
	The hey-day in the blood is tame, it's humble,
	And waits upon the judgment: and what judgment
	Would step from this to this? Sense, sure, you have,
	Else could you not have motion; but sure, that sense
	Is apoplex'd; for madness would not err,	80
	Nor sense to ecstasy was ne'er so thrall'd
	But it reserved some quantity of choice,
	To serve in such a difference. What devil was't
	That thus hath cozen'd you at hoodman-blind?
	Eyes without feeling, feeling without sight,	85
	Ears without hands or eyes, smelling sans all,
	Or but a sickly part of one true sense
	Could not so mope.
	O shame! where is thy blush? Rebellious hell,
	If thou canst mutine in a matron's bones,	90
	To flaming youth let virtue be as wax,
	And melt in her own fire: proclaim no shame
	When the compulsive ardour gives the charge,
	Since frost itself as actively doth burn
	And reason panders will.	95

QUEEN GERTRUDE		O Hamlet, speak no more:
		Thou turn'st mine eyes into my very soul;
		And there I see such black and grained spots
		As will not leave their tinct.

HAMLET	Nay, but to live	100
	In the rank sweat of an enseamed bed,
	Stew'd in corruption, honeying and making love
	Over the nasty sty,--

QUEEN GERTRUDE	O, speak to me no more;
	These words, like daggers, enter in mine ears;	105
	No more, sweet Hamlet!

HAMLET	A murderer and a villain;
	A slave that is not twentieth part the tithe
	Of your precedent lord; a vice of kings;
	A cutpurse of the empire and the rule,	110
	That from a shelf the precious diadem stole,
	And put it in his pocket!

HAMLET	A king of shreds and patches,--
	[Enter Ghost]
	Save me, and hover o'er me with your wings,	115
	You heavenly guards! What would your gracious figure?

HAMLET	Do you not come your tardy son to chide,
	That, lapsed in time and passion, lets go by
	The important acting of your dread command? O, say!	120

Ghost	Do not forget: this visitation
	Is but to whet thy almost blunted purpose.
	But, look, amazement on thy mother sits:
	O, step between her and her fighting soul:
	Conceit in weakest bodies strongest works:	125
	Speak to her, Hamlet.

QUEEN GERTRUDE	Alas, how is't with you,
	That you do bend your eye on vacancy
	And with the incorporal air do hold discourse?	130
	Forth at your eyes your spirits wildly peep;
	And, as the sleeping soldiers in the alarm,
	Your bedded hair, like life in excrements,
	Starts up, and stands on end. O gentle son,
	Upon the heat and flame of thy distemper	135
	Sprinkle cool patience. Whereon do you look?

HAMLET	On him, on him! Look you, how pale he glares!
	His form and cause conjoin'd, preaching to stones,
	Would make them capable. Do not look upon me;
	Lest with this piteous action you convert	140
	My stern effects: then what I have to do
	Will want true colour; tears perchance for blood.

HAMLET	Why, look you there! look, how it steals away!
	My father, in his habit as he lived!
	Look, where he goes, even now, out at the portal!	150
	[Exit Ghost]

QUEEN GERTRUDE		This the very coinage of your brain:
		This bodiless creation ecstasy
		Is very cunning in.

HAMLET	Ecstasy!
	My pulse, as yours, doth temperately keep time,	155
	And makes as healthful music: it is not madness
	That I have utter'd: bring me to the test,
	And I the matter will re-word; which madness
	Would gambol from. Mother, for love of grace,
	Lay not that mattering unction to your soul,	160
	That not your trespass, but my madness speaks:
	It will but skin and film the ulcerous place,
	Whilst rank corruption, mining all within,
	Infects unseen. Confess yourself to heaven;
	Repent what's past; avoid what is to come;	165
	And do not spread the compost on the weeds,
	To make them ranker. Forgive me this my virtue;
	For in the fatness of these pursy times
	Virtue itself of vice must pardon beg,
	Yea, curb and woo for leave to do him good.	170

HAMLET	O, throw away the worser part of it,
	And live the purer with the other half.
	Good night: but go not to mine uncle's bed;
	Assume a virtue, if you have it not.	175
	That monster, custom, who all sense doth eat,
	Of habits devil, is angel yet in this,
	That to the use of actions fair and good
	He likewise gives a frock or livery,
	That aptly is put on. Refrain to-night,	180
	And that shall lend a kind of easiness
	To the next abstinence: the next more easy;
	For use almost can change the stamp of nature,
	And either [ ] the devil, or throw him out
	With wondrous potency. Once more, good night:	185
	And when you are desirous to be bless'd,
	I'll blessing beg of you. For this same lord,
	[Pointing to POLONIUS]
	I do repent: but heaven hath pleased it so,
	To punish me with this and this with me,
	That I must be their scourge and minister.	190
	I will bestow him, and will answer well
	The death I gave him. So, again, good night.
	I must be cruel, only to be kind:
	Thus bad begins and worse remains behind.
	One word more, good lady.	195

HAMLET	Not this, by no means, that I bid you do:
	Let the bloat king tempt you again to bed;
	Pinch wanton on your cheek; call you his mouse;
	And let him, for a pair of reechy kisses,	200
	Or paddling in your neck with his damn'd fingers,
	Make you to ravel all this matter out,
	That I essentially am not in madness,
	But mad in craft. 'Twere good you let him know;
	For who, that's but a queen, fair, sober, wise,	205
	Would from a paddock, from a bat, a gib,
	Such dear concernings hide? who would do so?
	No, in despite of sense and secrecy,
	Unpeg the basket on the house's top.
	Let the birds fly, and, like the famous ape,	210
	To try conclusions, in the basket creep,
	And break your own neck down.

QUEEN GERTRUDE	Be thou assured, if words be made of breath,
	And breath of life, I have no life to breathe
	What thou hast said to me.	215

HAMLET	There's letters seal'd: and my two schoolfellows,
	Whom I will trust as I will adders fang'd,	220
	They bear the mandate; they must sweep my way,
	And marshal me to knavery. Let it work;
	For 'tis the sport to have the engineer
	Hoist with his own petard: and 't shall go hard
	But I will delve one yard below their mines,	225
	And blow them at the moon: O, 'tis most sweet,
	When in one line two crafts directly meet.
	This man shall set me packing:
	I'll lug the guts into the neighbour room.
	Mother, good night. Indeed this counsellor	230
	Is now most still, most secret and most grave,
	Who was in life a foolish prating knave.
	Come, sir, to draw toward an end with you.
	Good night, mother.
	[Exeunt severally; HAMLET dragging in POLONIUS]