THE MERCHANT OF VENICE 3.5

The same. A garden.

[Enter LAUNCELOT and JESSICA]

LAUNCELOT Yes, truly; for, look you, the sins of the father

are to be laid upon the children: therefore, I

promise ye, I fear you. I was always plain with

you, and so now I speak my agitation of the matter:

therefore be of good cheer, for truly I think you 5

are damned. There is but one hope in it that can do

you any good; and that is but a kind of bastard

hope neither.

JESSICA And what hope is that, I pray thee?

LAUNCELOT Marry, you may partly hope that your father got you 10

not, that you are not the Jew's daughter.

JESSICA That were a kind of bastard hope, indeed: so the

sins of my mother should be visited upon me.

LAUNCELOT Truly then I fear you are damned both by father and

mother: thus when I shun Scylla, your father, I 15

fall into Charybdis, your mother: well, you are

gone both ways.

JESSICA I shall be saved by my husband; he hath made me a

Christian.

LAUNCELOT Truly, the more to blame he: we were Christians 20

enow before; e'en as many as could well live, one by

another. This making Christians will raise the

price of hogs: if we grow all to be pork-eaters, we

shall not shortly have a rasher on the coals for money.

[Enter LORENZO]

JESSICA I'll tell my husband, Launcelot, what you say: here he comes. 25

LORENZO I shall grow jealous of you shortly, Launcelot, if

you thus get my wife into corners.

JESSICA Nay, you need not fear us, Lorenzo: Launcelot and I

are out. He tells me flatly, there is no mercy for

me in heaven, because I am a Jew's daughter: and he 30

says, you are no good member of the commonwealth,

for in converting Jews to Christians, you raise the

price of pork.

LORENZO I shall answer that better to the commonwealth than

you can the getting up of the negro's belly: the 35

Moor is with child by you, Launcelot.

LAUNCELOT It is much that the Moor should be more than reason:

but if she be less than an honest woman, she is

indeed more than I took her for.

LORENZO How every fool can play upon the word! I think the 40

best grace of wit will shortly turn into silence,

and discourse grow commendable in none only but

parrots. Go in, sirrah; bid them prepare for dinner.

LAUNCELOT That is done, sir; they have all stomachs.

LORENZO Goodly Lord, what a wit-snapper are you! then bid 45

them prepare dinner.

LAUNCELOT That is done too, sir; only 'cover' is the word.

LORENZO Will you cover then, sir?

LAUNCELOT Not so, sir, neither; I know my duty.

LORENZO Yet more quarrelling with occasion! Wilt thou show 50

the whole wealth of thy wit in an instant? I pray

tree, understand a plain man in his plain meaning:

go to thy fellows; bid them cover the table, serve

in the meat, and we will come in to dinner.

LAUNCELOT For the table, sir, it shall be served in; for the 55

meat, sir, it shall be covered; for your coming in

to dinner, sir, why, let it be as humours and

conceits shall govern.

[Exit]

LORENZO O dear discretion, how his words are suited!

The fool hath planted in his memory 60

An army of good words; and I do know

A many fools, that stand in better place,

Garnish'd like him, that for a tricksy word

Defy the matter. How cheerest thou, Jessica?

And now, good sweet, say thy opinion, 65

How dost thou like the Lord Bassanio's wife?

JESSICA Past all expressing. It is very meet

The Lord Bassanio live an upright life;

For, having such a blessing in his lady,

He finds the joys of heaven here on earth; 70

And if on earth he do not mean it, then

In reason he should never come to heaven

Why, if two gods should play some heavenly match

And on the wager lay two earthly women,

And Portia one, there must be something else 75

Pawn'd with the other, for the poor rude world

Hath not her fellow.

LORENZO Even such a husband

Hast thou of me as she is for a wife.

JESSICA Nay, but ask my opinion too of that. 80

LORENZO I will anon: first, let us go to dinner.

JESSICA Nay, let me praise you while I have a stomach.

LORENZO No, pray thee, let it serve for table-talk;

'Then, howso'er thou speak'st, 'mong other things

I shall digest it. 85

JESSICA Well, I'll set you forth.

[Exeunt]

LAUNCELOT	Yes, truly; for, look you, the sins of the father
	are to be laid upon the children: therefore, I
	promise ye, I fear you. I was always plain with
	you, and so now I speak my agitation of the matter:
	therefore be of good cheer, for truly I think you	5
	are damned. There is but one hope in it that can do
	you any good; and that is but a kind of bastard
	hope neither.

LAUNCELOT		Marry, you may partly hope that your father got you	10
		not, that you are not the Jew's daughter.

JESSICA		That were a kind of bastard hope, indeed: so the
		sins of my mother should be visited upon me.

LAUNCELOT	Truly then I fear you are damned both by father and
	mother: thus when I shun Scylla, your father, I	15
	fall into Charybdis, your mother: well, you are
	gone both ways.

JESSICA		I shall be saved by my husband; he hath made me a
		Christian.

LAUNCELOT	Truly, the more to blame he: we were Christians	20
	enow before; e'en as many as could well live, one by
	another. This making Christians will raise the
	price of hogs: if we grow all to be pork-eaters, we
	shall not shortly have a rasher on the coals for money.
	[Enter LORENZO]

LORENZO		I shall grow jealous of you shortly, Launcelot, if
		you thus get my wife into corners.

JESSICA	Nay, you need not fear us, Lorenzo: Launcelot and I
	are out. He tells me flatly, there is no mercy for
	me in heaven, because I am a Jew's daughter: and he	30
	says, you are no good member of the commonwealth,
	for in converting Jews to Christians, you raise the
	price of pork.

LORENZO	I shall answer that better to the commonwealth than
	you can the getting up of the negro's belly: the	35
	Moor is with child by you, Launcelot.

LAUNCELOT		It is much that the Moor should be more than reason:
		but if she be less than an honest woman, she is
		indeed more than I took her for.

LORENZO	How every fool can play upon the word! I think the	40
	best grace of wit will shortly turn into silence,
	and discourse grow commendable in none only but
	parrots. Go in, sirrah; bid them prepare for dinner.

LORENZO		Goodly Lord, what a wit-snapper are you! then bid	45
		them prepare dinner.

LORENZO	Yet more quarrelling with occasion! Wilt thou show	50
	the whole wealth of thy wit in an instant? I pray
	tree, understand a plain man in his plain meaning:
	go to thy fellows; bid them cover the table, serve
	in the meat, and we will come in to dinner.

LAUNCELOT	For the table, sir, it shall be served in; for the	55
	meat, sir, it shall be covered; for your coming in
	to dinner, sir, why, let it be as humours and
	conceits shall govern.
	[Exit]

LORENZO	O dear discretion, how his words are suited!
	The fool hath planted in his memory	60
	An army of good words; and I do know
	A many fools, that stand in better place,
	Garnish'd like him, that for a tricksy word
	Defy the matter. How cheerest thou, Jessica?
	And now, good sweet, say thy opinion,	65
	How dost thou like the Lord Bassanio's wife?

JESSICA	Past all expressing. It is very meet
	The Lord Bassanio live an upright life;
	For, having such a blessing in his lady,
	He finds the joys of heaven here on earth;	70
	And if on earth he do not mean it, then
	In reason he should never come to heaven
	Why, if two gods should play some heavenly match
	And on the wager lay two earthly women,
	And Portia one, there must be something else	75
	Pawn'd with the other, for the poor rude world
	Hath not her fellow.

LORENZO		Even such a husband
		Hast thou of me as she is for a wife.

LORENZO	No, pray thee, let it serve for table-talk;
	'Then, howso'er thou speak'st, 'mong other things
	I shall digest it.	85